Learning How To Meditate By Attentiveness

If you're just starting off to learn meditation, either as part of a guided meditation group or by yourself, you try for five or ten minutes each session; try to sit every day at the same time, morning or evening, whatever suits you perfect. You let the daily five to ten minutes to extend to fifteen or twenty minutes when the weeks go by, but you never try and push the pace.

Meditation isn't about gritting the teeth in tenacity. It's about sitting peacefully with yourself, and though it involves its own kind of control this has nothing to do with toughness than with yielding and letting go.

When the unavoidable thoughts or emotions turn up, you let them to pass through and out of consciousness like clouds pass in water. You don't try to push them away, but leave them to move of their own harmony. No matter how 'important' the thinking seem to be or how desperate or worrying the sentiments, you don't cling to them or let one thought or emotion to set off another and another until you are down on a wool-gathering path that takes you far away from the simple issue of the breathe in and breathe out.

If, however, you do lose control, gently but firmly return to your breathing the instant you realize this has happened. Avoid being intolerant with yourself or persuading yourself you'll never understand how to meditate. Your deviating mind is simply pointing out to you just how much you have to practice your meditation techniques. It is helping you, prompting you, showing you how less control you have over your own thinking. The right response is gratitude, thankfulness towards that part of your mind that has recognized the fact that you are wool-gathering and that has prompted you to return to your point of focus.

I cannot overstate how important this attitude of gratitude is. If you make upset yourself each time you become aware you are disoriented in thought, you will not only be arousing the unwelcome emotion of self-disgust, you will be conditioning your mind not to remind you when it is wandering later on. You are in effect punishing it each time for reminding you, and surely it doesn't like being punished. So it will point out to you less and less often, and you will find focus becomes harder and harder. In response to the dissatisfaction that this brings, your mind will then start whispering conveniently to you that meditation is a total waste of time, and that you would be well advised to find something better to do with your time.

Learning How To Meditate By Attentiveness
To help your concentration you can count your breaths, counting from one to ten on each out-breath, and then returning to one and beginning again. Should you lose track of your counting, go back to the count of one each time.

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